I spent minutes on youtube looking at a select few players' videos to make fun of. Because they suck.
Kawhi Leonard
0:05 - HE'S SO CASUAL. Look at his seating arrangements. BACKWARDS CHAIR. Probably because his dick is too big and needs a huge slot to slide through. Or the production assistant told him to.
0:09 - Nice editing. Smoother than a Kawhi Leonard jumpshot, which is to say it's not really that smooth because his jumpshot is horrendous.
0:22 - I think Scorcese directed this video. The editing is just that good.
0:35 - JUST DUNKED ON A CHRISTIAN UNIVERSITY. SUCK ON THAT BIBLE THUMPERS.
0:42 - These people are not Kawhi. KaWhy are they on there ...*budumpching*
1:03 - PAPA ROACH. Just in time to see Kawhi show you his fouling ability. AND IT'S PERFECTLY TIMED FOR THE DUNK. *plays air guitar*
1:26 - Gorgeous flop. Look at that flopping potential for the next level. he could be Manu Ginobili's apprentice.
1:30 - This is one steady dose of Kawhi laying the smack down on TCU and their average height of 5' 6". This is some impressive tape.
1:50 - Ok that was pretty tight. Behind the back dribbling IS THE FUTURE.
1:57 - LOOK AT HIM GET TO HIS SPOT. HE'S SO QUICK THAT WILE E COYOTE WOULD GIVE UP ON TRYING TO HUNT HIM.
2:05 - QUICK RELEASE TOO.
2:10 - Uh oh ladies. Shirts off. Get your vibrators ready.
Alec Burks
0:15 - More like a Tracy McGrady now. Shit dude, you played at Colorady.
0:24 - Boy does he know how to enter a game.
0:30 - Will give you credit for beating Texas. That was great because that gave Kansas their 7th straight Big 12 ship.
0:38 - UMASS? More like 3:10 to YUMA. Wait what?
1:10 - What I've noticed is that he knows how to finish on the fast break with no one around him. GOOD SKILL
1:15 - COMMON. This angle though, is not common, in fact, it is quite uncommon. You might even want to call it a useless camera angle. But hey, at least it's not a dunk. BURKS IS THE SWISS ARMY KNIFE OF THE DRAFT.
1:38 - Notice how he doesn't give a shit if it is a bad shot. THAT'S THE TYPE OF TALENT YOU WANT.
2:06 - I've never seen someone steal a lazy pass like that ever. HIS SKILLS ARE JUST SO IMPRESSIVE.
2:25 - He just made Iowa State's 7 man rotation look like a BITCH
2:45 - I'm having my doubts on whether or not Alec ever passes. He's the anti Lebron James, or as some would say, Tyreke Evans.
3:04 - ABRUPT ENDING
Klay Thompson
0:06 - He duals as a mascot. Look at all the money you can save Kings and Hornets.
0:16 - You want silky shots? No? GOOD. THIS IS YOUR GUY.
0:20 - Nevermind. That was much to silky for my tastes. FOCUSING ON KAWHI LEONARD NOW
0:37 - Look at him pick up that pivot foot. He's bred in the lines of Dwayne Wade with that complete ignore of the pivot foot.
0:40 - MID RANGE. CALL HIM MISTAH MIDRANGE BABY! THE DIAPA DANDY DERANGED DECAPITATED DONKEY SHOW! -Dick Vitale
0:44 - Great help defense there Derrick Williams. I'M CALLING YOU OUT. YOU'RE NOT A TEAM PLAYER.
0:51 - These guitar riffs are so exquisite. My thoughts are, um, he shoots jumpshots alright. I think. Is he a lefty? I don't know. Wasn't really watching. BECAUSE HE BLOWS COCK.
Nikola Vucevic
0:00 - CLICHE BASKETBALL SONG. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
0:03 - HYDRATION MUTHER FUCKER. IN RUSSIA VUCEVIC HYDRATES WATER.
0:07 - 100% of Nikola's blocks result in tie ups. IT'S THE RUSSIAN WAY.
0:10 - ALL HIS POST MOVES PUT PEOPLE TO THE GROUND, AS PER EXAMPLE HERE.
0:16 - What's a put back? THAT'S A PUT BACK. *Earth shatters under the feet of Vucevic*
0:20 - SHIT NIGGA? JUMPSHOTS TOO?
0:27 - SKY HOOK. That shit is so sky it hit the stratosphere on its way up, AND THEN CAUSED A HIGH PRESSURE SYSTEM.
0:33 - HE'S NOT AFRAID TO HIGH FIVE MIDGETS. HE'S GOT NO DISCRIMINATORY COMPLEXES IN HIS BODY.
0:45 - Notice how this post move KNOCKS DOWN THE DEFENDER.
0:52 - DIRK 2.0? I THINK YES.
1:14 - FAST BREAK. OH GOD. OH GAWD. *splooge*
1:57 - No way he could hit a turn around jump...OH FUCK YES. And look how modest he is after it.
Well there you go. Now you know literally nothing more than you did coming into reading this. You're welcome.
