Recent Posts

November 9, 2011

Getting Mad About the Morehouse loss?

HEY. YOU SHOULDN'T BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF TEAMS WHO COMMIT THEMSELVES TO EXHIBITION GAMES AGAINST NEAR NBA TALENT.

October 19, 2011

Fuck This Shit: FJM of GL Doing NCAA BB

Editor's note: This is the first of a five-part college basketball series that will run this week. We will be bringing you five writers arguing why their team will win the national championship, and me hating them. Check back for Duke, Ohio State, Syracuse, and Kentucky.

October 14, 2011

Still the Red Sox?

Holy shit, are you still talking about the Red Sox?

October 13, 2011

Why the NFL Needs Tim Tebow


October 7, 2011

What Should T.I's Post-Prison Game Plan Be?

You Jelly?
Some people take a prison stint to heart, by leading a better life once outside. They become religious or read a bunch of scriptures and philosophy to find a better path to live life. The rapper T.I. didn't do this. He got out of jail a few years ago from a gun charge, just to be caught a few months later with ecstasy in his possession. He's proven that he just doesn't give a shit. Which is perfect. As a resident public relation professional here at Scholarship Grove, I will be giving him apt advise on what his next moves should be, now that he is out of the klink. 

October 5, 2011

Former Alive Person Claims Sean Combs Had Tupac Killed

Yo dawg. You use my death for FUCKIN' ADVERTISING?
We have a special guest today in the Grove. It's Sean Taylor, former Washington Redskin and Miami Hurricane player. He was killed 4 years ago in a "random" shooting in a night club in Miami. Today he transcended the afterworld back to this one and met me at my house. He told me he had to scoop on Tupac's death. Turns out, Taylor has been working as a detective in the afterworld and is the most famous detective in the afterworld. Sherlock Holmes-esque. This is a transcript of the story he documented at my house, as he could not type, as he is a ghost.

October 4, 2011

On Brady's Hair


The Patriots QB pulls a reverse Samson, whatever that means.


September 30, 2011

Spoelstra in the Philippines.


Spending a few days abroad with the coach of the Miami Heat

September 27, 2011

Cry For Me World: Fantasy Football Fantasies

Watching your fantasy dreams get torn to pieces, and then writing about it even when no one cares.


September 26, 2011

Closing of Summer Mailbag: Opening of Fall Scholarshipgrove posts

I figured it's time to write some more shit. So, here's Bill Simmons.

August 9, 2011

The Blog of a Satirist of a Satirist of Grantland

Breaking new ground isn't new to me. It's called Blogception.  Satire of a blog, within a smaller blog that was originally satired from an even larger blog. Wait what? I don't get it.

August 8, 2011

The Glorious Return of ME. ME. YOU LOVE ME.

I've returned from a stint in the upper midwest (Minnesota) and am here to take your emails, that you sent to Bill Simmons, and that I am now stealing. WITHOUT HIS PERMISSION.


August 1, 2011

I Don't Want to Bro Up (Puns Brah), I'm an Entourage Bro, ya bro what I mean?

How Entourage inspires a generation of over privileged white 20 somethings.

July 29, 2011

Kobe Takes Manilla; NBA Not Invited/Forgot to RSVP


July 26, 2011

The Art fo the Body Shot

Amir Kahn and the most beautiful body shot ever.

Free Agents You Meet in HELL!!!

A look at NFL players whom Jesus should try to avoid. 

July 21, 2011

RazzieWatch: Who Will Win Worst FJM


July 19, 2011

When a Long Shot is Your Best Complaint

Are the Pittsburgh Pirates really in the National League playoff race? Are they still complaining?

July 18, 2011

Of Men and Masks

Sunday's WWE event keeps us guessin', and that's why we love it.

July 13, 2011

The 25 Least Enjoyable Players

Based on how much I want them to die.

The 'Poor Jen' Problem

Jennifer Aniston doesn't need your pity – maybe just a move to my pants.

July 12, 2011

A Summer Fairy Tale

Three views on the FIFA Womens World Cup's exciting weekend. 

July 11, 2011

If I ruled THE WORLD *HAHAHAHAHAH*

July 8, 2011

WHAT IS HE WEARING? - Djokovic, Jeter and Fowler

Oh my jesus guys. You cannot believe how bad these guys look. Like, I'm serious. 

July 7, 2011

The MVP

What happens when the NFL season gets shortened. Things get weird.

July 5, 2011

Does Sasha Vujacic "Deserve" Maria Sharapova

Our bro from Hipster Runoff returns to answer the question on everyone's mind. (I just copied that from Grantland. Is this fucking serious?)

July 1, 2011

Klitschko vs. Haye: Why you should care

The reasons why Saturday's championship bout is important to YOU.

June 29, 2011

Derek Jeter's DL Diary

Because that cheap 25 cent lock won't stop us from breaking into His journal.


June 28, 2011

Long live the King

Five pitches for HDNet in a Post-Mavericks Championship world.

June 23, 2011

The 2011 Youtube Draft

I spent minutes on youtube looking at a select few players' videos to make fun of. Because they suck.


June 22, 2011

NBA Lottery Preview

Breakdown of the draft for those who were too lazy to watch the NBA or the NCAA but still, for some reason, want to watch the draft.

June 17, 2011

Obligatory Father's Day Story

My father had a lot to do with (my profession) and raised me in a way that made me who I am today.

June 16, 2011

Black and Blue day for Vancouver. Finally.

After almost four decades of missteps and missed opportunities the Canadians finally rein supreme.

June 15, 2011

Dear Hockey Fuckhead

Here are answers to all your questions about game 7.

June 14, 2011

Lockout Limbo Heaven

In any other season, Chase Beeler would be on an NFL roster. This year, he and his fellow undrafted players have decisions to make. A steady job with a high income and medical insurance, or the NFL.

June 13, 2011

John Lackey: Being the Beast

Big money. Big personal issues. And big-time struggles on the big stage. Trying to get in the new X-Men movie.

June 10, 2011

This Week's Top Arbitrary Number of Stories too Unimportant to Dedicate a Whole Article To

Elongated tweets from someone with a Journalism degree, and or, an English degree and also think everything they write is interesting. 

June 9, 2011

Space, Time and DVR Mechanics ... and Zombies


When it's come to sports, it's live ... or it's totally dead ... or it's the living dead(!)


June 8, 2011

Three Indentured Servant Weave

The single greatest unseen development in sports, that Wilt Stilts has ever seen since he got his new time machine.