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August 1, 2011

I Don't Want to Bro Up (Puns Brah), I'm an Entourage Bro, ya bro what I mean?

How Entourage inspires a generation of over privileged white 20 somethings.

Ya brah. It's a Rolls. You know. Rolls Royce. What'd you call me faggot?
Ugh bro. BRO. Please bro, understand what this show has DONE FOR ME. It's done wonders. It made me want to be an actor/producer/rapper/singer/agent. Like, bro, I know I've never even taken an acting class, but COULDN'T YOU SEE ME IN AQUAMAN? I would be so fucking tight for it bro. Get this. 

*twists flat bill hat around backwards*

Yo I'm Aquaman bro. I'm gonna have some of these little aquatic life forms get at you BRAH. HUH. WHAT. HUH? YA TIGHT BRAH. YA TIGHT.

*twist hat back forward*

You see that. Fucking aced it. Aced it like the 3 bowling classes I took last semester. Bro. BRO. SHIT WAS SO EASY. EASY LIKE DAT TRI DELT SAVANNA. Brad hit that pussy like 9 times this month. THIS MONTH. And that's assuming that he didn't hit it for her period week, so that was like 9 times in APPROXIMATELY THREE WEEKS. Bro. BRO. BRAH. Insane man.

Anyways, I can't tell you how it feels to see this series end. This show was a game changer bro. Game changer like my nigga Tony Romo. Game changer like my half nigga Derek Jeter. GAME CHANGER LIKE KOBE BABY. You know those my favorite teams, and just like my favorite show, I LOVE TO WATCH 'EM BRAH. 

But, now after this season, there will be no more Entourage. I loved this shit man. I mean, bro. BRO. I loved this show like fresh bottle of Rohypnol on a Friday night. This show has taken me places my soul DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT HAD BRO. BRAH. BRAAAHHH. You know when E got married and shit. OUT OF NOWHERE. That shit was out of left field like when I played left field in high school, but then had to quit because of that bullshit rape charge.  YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN BRO. OUT OF LEFT FIELD SON. BROAH. BROAOAOAOHHHH. 

And now with only one season left, how am I supposed to cope, brah? I finna buy myself some liquor and pour it out for my 'Rage hommies. I call it 'Rage, wich is short for Entourage, brah. I know it's tight. I fucking tell everyone my nickname for 'Rage. Everybody loves it. 

But, back to what I was trying to say. This show changed me. It made me who I am today. I told my parents back my sophomore year that I was gonna quit school and go to LA. I was gonna do it to brah. My parents mugged the hell out of me though, and told me they wouldn't pay off my credit card if I did that. I wasn't gonna have that shit. How would I buy new Air Force Ones without that black card, right brah? BRAH. BROWE!

Still bro, this show has a total causation to what kind of brah I am right now. One day, I was out on campus and saw this Asian guy talking to another guy. The Asian guy look like a fag, so I just walked by and yelled "HEY YOU FAGGOT. I HEARD THAT YOUR COUNTRY GOT HIT BY A TSUNAMI. SUCK ON MY DICK WITH YOUR GAY TOUNGUE!" I did that shit for Ari man. I mean, bro. What am I gonna do without Ari and 'Rage man.

This show has so much inside me. It's my life. Sometimes I make fun of my fat friend who can't get a job. He's all poor and shit and has to get a job, just like Turtle. I mean seriously. You know how Christians have the bible and all, bro? Like, brah, 'Rage is MY bible. Bro. BROYOYO!

Get at me on this brahs. It's seriously like one of my relatives is dying. I had a red head friend in high school that I used to talk trash on for being a pussy. It was like I was Drama and he was E. Bro killed himself. RIP JONNY NO SOUL. Miss that bro. Can't believe he killed himself bro. If I could have found who caused that shit I would; bro, I would just straight up kill that bro. BRO. BROAWAAWWOOO. MISS YOU BRO.

I mean, this show will live with me like the genital warts that that bitch Cathy gave me last week. Fuck that bitch. She wasn't worth even a quater of the ruffie that I used on her. NOT EVEN A QUARTER OF IT. And bro, if she had given that shit to Drama? DAMMNNNNN YO. Shit would've got ill. That bro would have found her and taken that head off. Son. You don't even know. BRO. BROAASHWHWAAOOO. BROWASGHDFKLJKJLOO.

Rest in Peace 'Rage. Rest in Peace Bros.

Wilt Stilts womanizes like Spider man fights crime. Well. Hit this Josh BROlin up at his website www.brocrastination.bro or on twitter @kberthusen.