Sunday's WWE event keeps us guessin', and that's why we love it.
|I'd vote fer these men for President. Well'um not the one on the right.|
Everybuddy thinks they know how this match should-uh ended. Just like all us folk think we know how Barrack's time in office should end. At the hand of my riffle. I was sittun here watch this and mah jaw dropped ya'll. These here punk fellas was gittin' into my WWE business just like the government is gittin' into my taxes. STRATEGICULLEH.
There are just a few things in muh life that I like. I like muh beer. I like muh country. I like muh chevy. And I like muh WWE wraslin'. And these CM Punk guys here are messin' my Sunday's up. My normal Sunday starts out with an early mornin' goose chase, followed by gittin' to church like a good red blooded 'Merican. Just like my favorite radiah host, Glenn Beck, says, we must be gittin' back to our roots, that're rooted in Jesus. None of that faggot shit frum them liberals, thinkun we're from monkeys. Shit, I don't see no tail on my ass. No persun I ever knew threw poop at their more evolved counterparts. Not in my book, the Bibul.
And I dun don't like when mah books are gittin' rewritten, which is what is happenin' with the WWE. We can't have ourselves a new world order. No siry. I like mah things the same. I don't like these here tablet computers. I don't like this 4G wireless tichnology. I don't like to see them gays getting married. I like it good and old. I just want mah cuntry to go back to the good ole times when 'Merica had WWE Raw and a white man was in the office. I dun don't like this today 'Merica.
We have to fix this. Here's how we do this. We start by makin' a new land with all the suthern states and can call it Texico. We can sell those rights to Texico so we can pay off ur Debt to the chinamen. Then we git us some WWE. Call it WWE GOOD. Because it'll be good you see. Then we'll have new shows every day because it's sooo good. And then the econimy will boost on the back of Vince McMahon, who will be elected as Texico's president. And then we'll have Donald Trump as our Vice President, and they will wrestle every Tuesday on Nashunall television, on our only channel CMT. Problem solved.
Wilt Stilts colors outside the lines when talking about the American way. You can visit him at www.whitepowerstrip.com or on twitter @kberthusen.